Category Archives: Easy

Easy Crispy Kale Chips

Healthy salty yummy snacks?  Sometimes I think there is no such thing.  O.o

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There are times when you just want something salty to munch on that’s healthy and there is nothing in your kitchen but Hot Cheetos, and Spicy Chicharrones, and Lay’s Kettle Chips.  But you feel so guilty.  If you don’t…I do. I feel my BUTT just getting larger with every delicious Hot Cheeto that I consume.  I feel my arms getting flappier with those crispy airy chicharrones that I eat!  I FEEL MY FACE JUST GETTING BLOATED WITH THE FATTY SALTY DELICIOUSNESS OF THE LAYS KETTLE CHIP (ANY FLAVOR CAUSE THEY ARE ALL SO FREAKING DAMN DELICIOUS) DAMN YOU JUNK FOOD INDUSTRY!!! *SHAKES ANGRY FIST*

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Guilty…pleasures.  I often lose the inner war with me and any bag of chips…then just shortly following 5 minutes after I consumed the entire bag meant for a large party of probably 20…I live in just a whole ton of regret and sadness.  Lol.  Story of my life. On repeat!! =\

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So you ask…what do you do?!  I decided if I have to have chips at least I should TRY to attempt to make them healthier.  I’m made my own Kale chips.  WHY?! Because buying them are just freaking expensive.  And the store bought ones are freaking nasty. Lol.

I WANT SOMETHING DELICIOUS for pete’s sake!!

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HERE WE GOOOO….

What I do is I usually buy the already washed, already cut Kale because I’m the laziest person in all the lands.

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From there, I spread the kale out on a flat cookie sheet with a parchment paper and I rip off all the stalks off because they are tuff and they don’t cook well and they remind me of eating wood chips. Nobody enjoys eating wood chips. If you do…good on you!  You must get lots of fiber! 🙂

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PREHEAT YOUR OVEN TO 275.  I’m not lying.  Don’t do what everyone else on the internet does and do it at 400 or 350.  You’ll burn your precious kale and parts will be cooked and other parts will still be weirdly wet and soggy. 🙂

Now…toss said kale (make sure it’s not wet with water) with 1 teaspoon of Olive Oil. See…healthy…right?

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Try to rip the pieces of kale into similar sizes so you don’t have a hodgepodge of weirdness going on in your kale chip bowl.

Then add your favorite seasoning!  I love garlic salt and cayenne pepper together as a combo.   Grated Parmesan and black pepper are delicious too!  Use your imagination! Share with me your creations!

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Bake at 275 for a timed 15 minutes!

And BAM salty snack is DONE.

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EASY PEASY and so much healthier than potato chips.

Make sure you let the chips cool completely (stand alone). Try not to eat them all right out of the oven.

If you pile them on top of each other while they are still hot, the bottom pieces will be soggy!  No one likes soggy kale chips!

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Enjoy!


EASY KALE CHIPS

Healthy! Delicious! Guilt FREE! And they help you poo I think…

Difficulty Level: Easy

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 15 minutes per batch


Ingredients: (I do this in batches)

4 cups of chopped Kale

1 teaspoon of Olive Oil

Seasonings of choice

Directions:

  1. Either chop or get prechopped Kale. Your kale MUST be dry, otherwise they will come out soggy!
  2. Remove stalks because no one likes those…
  3. Toss with Olive Oil
  4. Spread out evenly on cookie sheet for even cooking
  5. Season
  6. Bake at 275 for 15 minutes
  7. Enjoy!

Last Tidbid:  I like to make this in batches.  I tend to make 4 batches and eat them within two days.  Just make sure you are gentle with them because they are very thin after baking!  If you are not gentle, you will have kale dust…lol!

Power Quinoa Avocado Salad

I’m BBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!

I know. I’ve been gone for forever. Did you miss me?  Because I have most certainly missed you.

I’m trying my best as a new blogger.  Please forgive me for being gone. The holidays ROBBED me of my time and made me like 500lbs heavier.  Not complaining though because it’s my favorite time of year!!

I am also trying to transition my site to a new site; where I am no longer wordpress.com-er.  I want to be my own SITE! I WANT MY OWN IDENTITY. *tear*  MORE TO COME ON THAT I PROMISE!

I know a lot of people really hate the New Year because it comes with failed NY Resolutions (that and getting another year older 😦 ).  All the health crazes and new workout regimens, etc etc .  Trust me I am so one of those people…I’ve failed at NY resolutions for about 20+ years of my life and this year is no different!!

But guess what?! THIS YEAR, is not any different, no. Lol. I have actually already failed multiple times. But WHO THE HELL SAID once I fail, I should just keep failing?  Hell to the N-O. this year, I have decided that each time I fail, I just need to pick back up and start all over again like it’s January 2nd.

God I’m so inspiring. I should write a blog or something.  😉

Today, I bring to you…POWER QUINOA AVOCADO SALAD. This salad is JAM packed with nutrition and flavor.  Yum scale is like 10 and because it’s healthy I’m going to bump it up to like a 15.

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It’s a little blurry. MY BAD. i was just in such a rush to eat it. -_-**

My girlfriend made this at work one day and I asked her what she put it in…then…I went home…made it..and it changed me life.  I COULD eat healthy.  EATING HEALTHY IS NOT THAT BAD. say that 10x in a row and you’ll start to believe it! 😉

If you don’t like Quinoa, this is a GREAT starter salad.  It kinda hides the Quinoa and you can’t really even tell it’s there because of all the nommy natural ROBUSTING flavors the other ingredients provide.

The great thing about this is you can put in and take out what you like or don’t like.  You can add whatever you want as long as it is healthy.  Don’t like to eat a lot of onions?  Just add a bit for flavor.  Love tons of corn?  Add MORE.  It’s that simple. Consider this a starter recipe.  Add and subtract as you go.  YOU BOSS.  YOU MAKE BIG DECISION.  *pound chest, stomp ground*

Here are the main ingredients:

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I really must have been a rush because all my pictures are BLURRY! failx1000

FIRST MIX:

Chopped Cilantro, Corn, Tomato (I used cherry, not recommended…it tasted cherry tomato-y, I would use roma or normal people tomatoes), Onions, Jalapenos, Cooked Quinoa. Disclaimer: DO NOT add avocado and salt yet.  Always add that at the end right when you’re about to demolish the food with your piehole.

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Put it into a giant mixing bowl (so pretty!)

Mix it up!!

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I donno why I put the Quinoa in after i mixed that.  I think i wanted to show you the rainbow of nutritional deliciousness.

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And now we proceed to the step by step direction on how to cut and core an Avocado so no one chops their hands off and you maximize the Ah-Jee-Cah-Doh to it’s highest potential.

Step one: cut avocado in half the long way…ALL THE WAY AROUND. Try to connect the two sides. 🙂

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Step two: Turn opposites away from each other and pull apart (I wish I had three hands and arms to show you but gratefully God decided I’m prettier with just two hands, and I agree 100%!)

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Step three:  Use your knife and carefully whack the middle of the seed with your knife.

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Step four: Turn opposite avocado and seed and pull! And Voila! DONE. Core is out. YOU ARE AN AVOCADO HERO!!  Use the spoon and take out the meat. Try not to eat it all.

Back to the Salad.

My recommendation is to keep the salad and avocado separate until you are ready to eat it.  I think half and avocado to 1½ a cup of mix is a good ratio.  I also really love my avocado…so if that is too much for you, I would definitely add more mix as you go.

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When you’re done, add salt and pepper to taste.

Other Chopped up things I’ve added in the past to this POWER salad: Hardboiled Eggs Whites (FOR PROTEIN.  yum! – you can add the yolk too, it’s just not as good for you but it sure is tastie), Bell Peppers, Cooled Grilled or Boiled Chicken (for protein), Green Onions, Celery, USE YOUR IMAGINATION!

You’re getting skinner already.  You’re welcome!  🙂


 

POWER QUINOA AVOCADO SALAD

The first step into your healthy lifestyle!

Difficulty Level: Easy

Serving: 5-6 Cups, depends on how much of what you put into it

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook time:  Everything is pre-prepared. This recipe already has cooked corn and cooked, cooled Quinoa.  Corn, you can use canned if you’d like, and Quinoa takes about 15 minutes to make stove top (follow the back of the bag).  Make sure you cool the Quinoa first before throwing it into this salad!


 

Ingredients:

EVERYTHING BELOW IS TO TASTE, this is just my version.  Make it your own!

1½ cup of cooked cooled Quinoa

¼ – ½ cup of cilantro

¼ – ½ cup of onion

1½ cup of chopped tomato (I used cherry because that’s all I had but I highly DO NOT recommend it, it has a different taste then normal tomatoes)

1 large chopped jalapeno (I did mine with the seeds because I like my food spicy like ME)

2 cups of corn

Avocado (½ for every 1½ to 2 cups of the salad)

Himalayan Pink Salt or Garlic Salt

Other Chopped up things I’ve added in the past: Hardboiled Eggs Whites (yum! – you can add the yolk too, it’s just not as good for you but it sure is tastie), Bell Peppers, Cooled Grilled or Boiled Chicken, Green Onions, Celery, USE YOUR IMAGINATION!


 

 

Directions:

Throw together the first 6 ingredients, mix.

Add avocado and Himalayan Pink Salt or Garlic Salt for flavor

Refrigerate for an hour and enjoy!

Last Tidbid: if you use everything fresh, please try to eat this quickly! There aren’t any additional preservatives so this may turn fast.

Turkey Brine, Dry Rub, and Cavity Filling

Man it has been a busy couple of weeks.

I have failed you as a blogger and please forgive me as I have done the cardinal sin of not posting this fast enough.  But alas I like to make myself feel better as I have at least posted it prior to Thanksgiving! Yes?  Yes??

THERE IS STILL  ENOUGH TIME I PROMISE. You can brine everything Tuesday or even Wednesday and STILL be in time for Thanksgiving …and I promise you…you’ll walk out of T-Dinner feeling like a ROCKSTAR!

This will be quick. It’s SO easy, you won’t regret it.

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BRINE. THAT. BIRD.

INGREDIENTS:

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1 gallon of water (16 cups) in a giant pot!

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Add 16 teaspoon of Better then Bouillon Vegetable Bouillon (this equates to 16 cups of Bouillon)

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Add 1 cup of Sea Salt or Kosher Salt – NOT TABLE SALT or you may die of salt overload from puffiness or, on a more serious real person note….HIGH BLOODPRESSURE/STROKE. And no one wants that on Thanksgiving.  I am thankful to be alive.  And that you are alive and reading this. 🙂

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Add all thee dried herbs. Rosemary (make sure to crush it a bit), Sage, Thyme, Poultry Seasoning.

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BOIL THAT BABY.

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Mix. Make sure salt is disintegrated.

THEN. Cool it. Not you. The bird. Once it’s cool, add 8 cups of Apple Juice, and another gallon 8 cups of ICE water to your brine.

THROW THE BIRD IN THERE and make sure the inside cavity is filled with the brine! THEN…VOILA! WAHLAH! MAGNIFICO!

Brine the bird for no more than 24 hours. I actually would recommend 12-18 hrs.  MAKE sure it’s cold and food safety safe.  No need to poison everyone on Thanksgiving because you didn’t keep the bird cold enough…

Also please use a brining bag; trashbags are NOT food safe…

Once the bird is out of the brine…RINSE the bird with water; you don’t want a salt lick. 🙂 MAKE SURE YOU PAT THE TURKEY DRY AFTER RINSING IT.

Please remember!!  Brined Turkeys cook must faster; I don’t want to tell you a time formula but I highly recommend cooking it breast side down for the first hour to two hours (depending on the size of your bird), then turning it over breast side up for the remainder of the time.  After that, blast the oven up to 450 – 500 degrees to brown the skin.


Turkey Brine

1 Gallon of water

16 teaspoons of Vegetable Bullion

1 Tablespoon of Dried Rosemary

1 Tablespoon of Dried Sage

1 Teaspoon of ground Thyme (you can add more but I think thyme taste like DIRT if you add too much)

1 Tablespoon of Poultry Seasoning

8 cups of Apple Juice

1 Gallon of Water Sorry! It’s 8 cups of ice water.


DRY RUB:

Equal parts EVERYTHING:

Salt

Black Pepper

Oregano

Basil

Rosemary

Paprika

Cayenne Pepper

If you dry rub your bird, please make sure you melt butter or use olive oil and coat the outside of your bird, then sprinkle it on; you don’t have to do this, but I love the extra flavor it brings.


CAVITY FILLING:

Salt the inside of your bird; don’t go crazy! You did brine the bird!

2 Celery stalks

1 large Onion

2 large carrots

5 Garlic Cloves

OPTIONAL: 1 Orange (I don’t like the citrusy flavor but A LOT of people do)

Stick it in the bird’s booty after salting and seasoning! BOOTY.


Last Tidbid:  I highly recommend taking cold unsalted butter, slicing it to thin square pieces, dipping it in the dry rub, separating the skin and putting the seasoned butter in between the skin and meat.  This not only adds extra flavor but also helps tenderize the bird EVER MORE.  And who doesn’t like butter?!

Also, whatever you season your bird with on the skin, even if it is just salt and pepper, this will taste amazing.  Just don’t do anything weird that you wouldn’t normally put on a bird…like cinnamon or nutmeg or weird non-birdy ingredients; we don’t want your bird to taste like pumpkin pie. Gross.

Tuna Salad

Well hallo dere.

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Not sure if you can tell by now but I love things that are easy to make.  The easier and tastier food is, the rounder I get. Keke. Round.

This is a good “healthy” snack.  I put “healthy” in quotes because it really depend on how much may-O you put into this delicious fresh yummy concoction.  The more you put the creamier it gets!

I grew up eating tuna with mayo and celery and I’m not going to say it was horrible but it wasn’t freaking delicious either.  It was like…just OK.

Then…I met this girl named Cristina.  She changed my life.  She opened the doors to canned-tuna heaven and showed me that you CAN elevate canned tuna and make freaking delicious.  She made tuna with all the Mexican flavors I love…and then I decided…I have to make my own.

I came, I saw, I conquered that BEEZIE.

The good thing about this recipe is it is a base.  You can tweak it anyway you want based on your taste buds. I can’t say every time I make this it tastes the same, but I can say, that every time I make it, I love how delicious it is with some Pretzel Crisps or Salt and Pepper Kettle chips.  Yum.  Remember!  I said “healthy”. Feel free to judge me. 😉

OKIE. So here goes!

CHOP CHOP CHOP!  I know its super tempting to throw this all into the food processer…but don’t do it.  Fight the temptation.  You’ll need a bigger dice then the food processor will give you because you want a good nice crunch and texture. TRUST ME! IT’S WORTH IT

So. Here we go!

Main Ingredients:  (as usual…I forgot something…)

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Mayo and Garlic Salt not shown… -_-**

Start chopping the living lights out of these veggies….

For those who don’t know how to cut celery cause it’s all weird shaped:

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Turn on an angle and chop into strips

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DEN WAHLAH! NOW RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO CHOP INTO TINY CRUNCHY SQUARES OF FLAVOR!

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Such pretty colors!  Add the canned Tuna…

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And MIX the beH-gi-ta-bles all up!

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Look at all the colors! So pretty! And tell me that doesn’t smell amazing.

Ok. This is where I secretly like to lie to myself and tell myself I eat healthy and only add a bit of mayo.  But it always ends up the same.  I always start with ½ of a HEAPING cup of mayo…

Then I spread the love…and then I realize….there isn’t enough love in there.  So I end up adding a tablespoon at a time.

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And then I end up…with me have had added a total of 1 cup of Mayo…LOL. #healthyfail

If you fail like I do. Let’s fail proudly. And be proud and fat and happy.  YAH!

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Make sure you toss in at least ½ teaspoon of salt or more to taste.  THEN. WAIT for it….THROW IT IN THE fridge.  It needs to SIT in the fridge for at least 3 hours prior to consuming.  If you have patience for overnight, then that is better.  The flavors need time to merry and be happy!  Give it some TIME!

Then. Indulge with some Pretzel Crisps (I buy the Everything flavor) or Kettle chips. Whatever your hearts deepest desires are.


TUNA SALAD

Dancing Tuna in your mouf!

Difficulty level: EASY

Serving:  Total a little under 3 lbs (sounds a lot but it’s really not!)

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook time: none


Ingredients:

4 Cans of 5 oz Tuna in water

2 Tomatoes

4 stalks of celery

1 medium onion or a little over half of a large one

1 bunch of cilantro (or less to taste)

1 small Persian cucumber (not shown and optional – I only do it sometimes but don’t do too much because cucumbers can be overpowering!)

1 serrano pepper (optional)

1 cup of Mayo (start with ½ and add to taste)

½ Teaspoon of Garlic Salt


 

Directions:

Chop all veggies.  Put in mixing bowl.  Add tuna.

Add Mayo and Salt, mix.

Refrigerate for at least 3 hours to overnight.

Last Tidbid:  I actually tend to eat this with crackers over in a sandwich.  If you do want to eat it in a sandwich, make sure you get a nice strong bread that can hold up to the juices of this tuna.  Also, when you refrigerate the tuna, it will secret water from the veggies, just mix prior to eating.

Happy Eating!

Fit ORGANIC Fruit and Vegetable Wash

Hi.

Who likes clean fruits and veggies?!  ME!

I mean really, that is obviously a rhetorical question cause really who the hell likes duurrrttyy fruits and veggies?!

I know a TON of people (not judging but kinda judging…#sorrynotsorry) who will take the fruits they bought from the market and put it directly into their mouths…*gag* DO YOU WANT A DISEASE?!  Remove that fruit from your mouth and go wash that ish before you contract a deadly virus and I get to wiggle my finger in your face and tell you “I told you so” in the most annoying way possible.

Just think about it…do you know how many hands that fruit has passed?!  That’s like letting 10 random people take their dirty hands and putting it directly into your mouth and making you eat the dirty bacteria off their fingers.  I don’t think anyone would appreciate that.  lol!

So, now that we got that nasty little tidbid in and out of your head, I would like to encourage everyone to PLEASE wash your fruit!

I did some research for myself and for you guys, and found out the best way to wash your fruit is to used clean distilled water.  Let your fruit sit in water for at least 1-2 minutes before eating it…BUT if you’re a crazy paranoid freak like me, you’ll use a fruit wash. 😉

This is the first fruit wash I’ve bought and I have to say I’m pretty satisfied with it.

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FIT Organic Fruit and Vegetable Wash

Fit Organic Fruit and Vegetable Wash

The pack I bought came with a spray as well; I thought this was super cool.


PROS:

Washes off wax

Washes off dirt

You can actually feel the difference, before and after (and it gives you peace of mind)

It’s simple enough to do on all fruits and veggies

CONS:

Does NOT wash off Pesticides (it’s not magic and can’t just make inorganic food organic…)

Washing with distilled water supposedly does the same (according to studies)


Here is the step by step on how to do this.

Step 1:  The cap has a “fill to” line; fill that up and pour it into a large bowl. DSC_0782

Add ½ a gallon of water… DSC_0783

Add your produce DSC_0784

Make sure all your produce is completely covered!  No single dirty grape goes unwashed!

Let it sit for at least 2-3 minutes.  I like to swish it around and rub it a bit just for my own crazy mind sake…;)

After you do that, RINSE well all the fruit in running water.  I can guarantee you you’ll feel a difference!

For the spray, it works better with single fruits and veggies; spray directly on to fruit, rub for 1 minute, rinse, eat.

LAST TIDBID:

I absolutely like to do everything I can to minimize the amount of work to do later. Lol I am the laziest of all!  Costco has tons of great fruit.  Their veggies I am not always happy with (it always goes bad in a day or two!) but their fruit has never failed me.  If you buy their bulk fruit, I highly recommend prewashing everything before throwing it in the fridge.  This stops you from having to wash it when you want to eat it and it’s cold and delicious!  If you choose to do this, just remember you are washing wax off your produce and that wax helps preserve things…so eat your produce quickly if you prewash! 🙂