Category Archives: Recipes

Easy Crispy Kale Chips

Healthy salty yummy snacks?  Sometimes I think there is no such thing.  O.o

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There are times when you just want something salty to munch on that’s healthy and there is nothing in your kitchen but Hot Cheetos, and Spicy Chicharrones, and Lay’s Kettle Chips.  But you feel so guilty.  If you don’t…I do. I feel my BUTT just getting larger with every delicious Hot Cheeto that I consume.  I feel my arms getting flappier with those crispy airy chicharrones that I eat!  I FEEL MY FACE JUST GETTING BLOATED WITH THE FATTY SALTY DELICIOUSNESS OF THE LAYS KETTLE CHIP (ANY FLAVOR CAUSE THEY ARE ALL SO FREAKING DAMN DELICIOUS) DAMN YOU JUNK FOOD INDUSTRY!!! *SHAKES ANGRY FIST*

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Guilty…pleasures.  I often lose the inner war with me and any bag of chips…then just shortly following 5 minutes after I consumed the entire bag meant for a large party of probably 20…I live in just a whole ton of regret and sadness.  Lol.  Story of my life. On repeat!! =\

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So you ask…what do you do?!  I decided if I have to have chips at least I should TRY to attempt to make them healthier.  I’m made my own Kale chips.  WHY?! Because buying them are just freaking expensive.  And the store bought ones are freaking nasty. Lol.

I WANT SOMETHING DELICIOUS for pete’s sake!!

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HERE WE GOOOO….

What I do is I usually buy the already washed, already cut Kale because I’m the laziest person in all the lands.

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From there, I spread the kale out on a flat cookie sheet with a parchment paper and I rip off all the stalks off because they are tuff and they don’t cook well and they remind me of eating wood chips. Nobody enjoys eating wood chips. If you do…good on you!  You must get lots of fiber! 🙂

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PREHEAT YOUR OVEN TO 275.  I’m not lying.  Don’t do what everyone else on the internet does and do it at 400 or 350.  You’ll burn your precious kale and parts will be cooked and other parts will still be weirdly wet and soggy. 🙂

Now…toss said kale (make sure it’s not wet with water) with 1 teaspoon of Olive Oil. See…healthy…right?

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Try to rip the pieces of kale into similar sizes so you don’t have a hodgepodge of weirdness going on in your kale chip bowl.

Then add your favorite seasoning!  I love garlic salt and cayenne pepper together as a combo.   Grated Parmesan and black pepper are delicious too!  Use your imagination! Share with me your creations!

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Bake at 275 for a timed 15 minutes!

And BAM salty snack is DONE.

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EASY PEASY and so much healthier than potato chips.

Make sure you let the chips cool completely (stand alone). Try not to eat them all right out of the oven.

If you pile them on top of each other while they are still hot, the bottom pieces will be soggy!  No one likes soggy kale chips!

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Enjoy!


EASY KALE CHIPS

Healthy! Delicious! Guilt FREE! And they help you poo I think…

Difficulty Level: Easy

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 15 minutes per batch


Ingredients: (I do this in batches)

4 cups of chopped Kale

1 teaspoon of Olive Oil

Seasonings of choice

Directions:

  1. Either chop or get prechopped Kale. Your kale MUST be dry, otherwise they will come out soggy!
  2. Remove stalks because no one likes those…
  3. Toss with Olive Oil
  4. Spread out evenly on cookie sheet for even cooking
  5. Season
  6. Bake at 275 for 15 minutes
  7. Enjoy!

Last Tidbid:  I like to make this in batches.  I tend to make 4 batches and eat them within two days.  Just make sure you are gentle with them because they are very thin after baking!  If you are not gentle, you will have kale dust…lol!

Power Quinoa Avocado Salad

I’m BBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!

I know. I’ve been gone for forever. Did you miss me?  Because I have most certainly missed you.

I’m trying my best as a new blogger.  Please forgive me for being gone. The holidays ROBBED me of my time and made me like 500lbs heavier.  Not complaining though because it’s my favorite time of year!!

I am also trying to transition my site to a new site; where I am no longer wordpress.com-er.  I want to be my own SITE! I WANT MY OWN IDENTITY. *tear*  MORE TO COME ON THAT I PROMISE!

I know a lot of people really hate the New Year because it comes with failed NY Resolutions (that and getting another year older 😦 ).  All the health crazes and new workout regimens, etc etc .  Trust me I am so one of those people…I’ve failed at NY resolutions for about 20+ years of my life and this year is no different!!

But guess what?! THIS YEAR, is not any different, no. Lol. I have actually already failed multiple times. But WHO THE HELL SAID once I fail, I should just keep failing?  Hell to the N-O. this year, I have decided that each time I fail, I just need to pick back up and start all over again like it’s January 2nd.

God I’m so inspiring. I should write a blog or something.  😉

Today, I bring to you…POWER QUINOA AVOCADO SALAD. This salad is JAM packed with nutrition and flavor.  Yum scale is like 10 and because it’s healthy I’m going to bump it up to like a 15.

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It’s a little blurry. MY BAD. i was just in such a rush to eat it. -_-**

My girlfriend made this at work one day and I asked her what she put it in…then…I went home…made it..and it changed me life.  I COULD eat healthy.  EATING HEALTHY IS NOT THAT BAD. say that 10x in a row and you’ll start to believe it! 😉

If you don’t like Quinoa, this is a GREAT starter salad.  It kinda hides the Quinoa and you can’t really even tell it’s there because of all the nommy natural ROBUSTING flavors the other ingredients provide.

The great thing about this is you can put in and take out what you like or don’t like.  You can add whatever you want as long as it is healthy.  Don’t like to eat a lot of onions?  Just add a bit for flavor.  Love tons of corn?  Add MORE.  It’s that simple. Consider this a starter recipe.  Add and subtract as you go.  YOU BOSS.  YOU MAKE BIG DECISION.  *pound chest, stomp ground*

Here are the main ingredients:

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I really must have been a rush because all my pictures are BLURRY! failx1000

FIRST MIX:

Chopped Cilantro, Corn, Tomato (I used cherry, not recommended…it tasted cherry tomato-y, I would use roma or normal people tomatoes), Onions, Jalapenos, Cooked Quinoa. Disclaimer: DO NOT add avocado and salt yet.  Always add that at the end right when you’re about to demolish the food with your piehole.

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Put it into a giant mixing bowl (so pretty!)

Mix it up!!

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I donno why I put the Quinoa in after i mixed that.  I think i wanted to show you the rainbow of nutritional deliciousness.

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And now we proceed to the step by step direction on how to cut and core an Avocado so no one chops their hands off and you maximize the Ah-Jee-Cah-Doh to it’s highest potential.

Step one: cut avocado in half the long way…ALL THE WAY AROUND. Try to connect the two sides. 🙂

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Step two: Turn opposites away from each other and pull apart (I wish I had three hands and arms to show you but gratefully God decided I’m prettier with just two hands, and I agree 100%!)

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Step three:  Use your knife and carefully whack the middle of the seed with your knife.

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Step four: Turn opposite avocado and seed and pull! And Voila! DONE. Core is out. YOU ARE AN AVOCADO HERO!!  Use the spoon and take out the meat. Try not to eat it all.

Back to the Salad.

My recommendation is to keep the salad and avocado separate until you are ready to eat it.  I think half and avocado to 1½ a cup of mix is a good ratio.  I also really love my avocado…so if that is too much for you, I would definitely add more mix as you go.

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When you’re done, add salt and pepper to taste.

Other Chopped up things I’ve added in the past to this POWER salad: Hardboiled Eggs Whites (FOR PROTEIN.  yum! – you can add the yolk too, it’s just not as good for you but it sure is tastie), Bell Peppers, Cooled Grilled or Boiled Chicken (for protein), Green Onions, Celery, USE YOUR IMAGINATION!

You’re getting skinner already.  You’re welcome!  🙂


 

POWER QUINOA AVOCADO SALAD

The first step into your healthy lifestyle!

Difficulty Level: Easy

Serving: 5-6 Cups, depends on how much of what you put into it

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook time:  Everything is pre-prepared. This recipe already has cooked corn and cooked, cooled Quinoa.  Corn, you can use canned if you’d like, and Quinoa takes about 15 minutes to make stove top (follow the back of the bag).  Make sure you cool the Quinoa first before throwing it into this salad!


 

Ingredients:

EVERYTHING BELOW IS TO TASTE, this is just my version.  Make it your own!

1½ cup of cooked cooled Quinoa

¼ – ½ cup of cilantro

¼ – ½ cup of onion

1½ cup of chopped tomato (I used cherry because that’s all I had but I highly DO NOT recommend it, it has a different taste then normal tomatoes)

1 large chopped jalapeno (I did mine with the seeds because I like my food spicy like ME)

2 cups of corn

Avocado (½ for every 1½ to 2 cups of the salad)

Himalayan Pink Salt or Garlic Salt

Other Chopped up things I’ve added in the past: Hardboiled Eggs Whites (yum! – you can add the yolk too, it’s just not as good for you but it sure is tastie), Bell Peppers, Cooled Grilled or Boiled Chicken, Green Onions, Celery, USE YOUR IMAGINATION!


 

 

Directions:

Throw together the first 6 ingredients, mix.

Add avocado and Himalayan Pink Salt or Garlic Salt for flavor

Refrigerate for an hour and enjoy!

Last Tidbid: if you use everything fresh, please try to eat this quickly! There aren’t any additional preservatives so this may turn fast.

Turkey Brine, Dry Rub, and Cavity Filling

Man it has been a busy couple of weeks.

I have failed you as a blogger and please forgive me as I have done the cardinal sin of not posting this fast enough.  But alas I like to make myself feel better as I have at least posted it prior to Thanksgiving! Yes?  Yes??

THERE IS STILL  ENOUGH TIME I PROMISE. You can brine everything Tuesday or even Wednesday and STILL be in time for Thanksgiving …and I promise you…you’ll walk out of T-Dinner feeling like a ROCKSTAR!

This will be quick. It’s SO easy, you won’t regret it.

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BRINE. THAT. BIRD.

INGREDIENTS:

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1 gallon of water (16 cups) in a giant pot!

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Add 16 teaspoon of Better then Bouillon Vegetable Bouillon (this equates to 16 cups of Bouillon)

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Add 1 cup of Sea Salt or Kosher Salt – NOT TABLE SALT or you may die of salt overload from puffiness or, on a more serious real person note….HIGH BLOODPRESSURE/STROKE. And no one wants that on Thanksgiving.  I am thankful to be alive.  And that you are alive and reading this. 🙂

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Add all thee dried herbs. Rosemary (make sure to crush it a bit), Sage, Thyme, Poultry Seasoning.

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BOIL THAT BABY.

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Mix. Make sure salt is disintegrated.

THEN. Cool it. Not you. The bird. Once it’s cool, add 8 cups of Apple Juice, and another gallon 8 cups of ICE water to your brine.

THROW THE BIRD IN THERE and make sure the inside cavity is filled with the brine! THEN…VOILA! WAHLAH! MAGNIFICO!

Brine the bird for no more than 24 hours. I actually would recommend 12-18 hrs.  MAKE sure it’s cold and food safety safe.  No need to poison everyone on Thanksgiving because you didn’t keep the bird cold enough…

Also please use a brining bag; trashbags are NOT food safe…

Once the bird is out of the brine…RINSE the bird with water; you don’t want a salt lick. 🙂 MAKE SURE YOU PAT THE TURKEY DRY AFTER RINSING IT.

Please remember!!  Brined Turkeys cook must faster; I don’t want to tell you a time formula but I highly recommend cooking it breast side down for the first hour to two hours (depending on the size of your bird), then turning it over breast side up for the remainder of the time.  After that, blast the oven up to 450 – 500 degrees to brown the skin.


Turkey Brine

1 Gallon of water

16 teaspoons of Vegetable Bullion

1 Tablespoon of Dried Rosemary

1 Tablespoon of Dried Sage

1 Teaspoon of ground Thyme (you can add more but I think thyme taste like DIRT if you add too much)

1 Tablespoon of Poultry Seasoning

8 cups of Apple Juice

1 Gallon of Water Sorry! It’s 8 cups of ice water.


DRY RUB:

Equal parts EVERYTHING:

Salt

Black Pepper

Oregano

Basil

Rosemary

Paprika

Cayenne Pepper

If you dry rub your bird, please make sure you melt butter or use olive oil and coat the outside of your bird, then sprinkle it on; you don’t have to do this, but I love the extra flavor it brings.


CAVITY FILLING:

Salt the inside of your bird; don’t go crazy! You did brine the bird!

2 Celery stalks

1 large Onion

2 large carrots

5 Garlic Cloves

OPTIONAL: 1 Orange (I don’t like the citrusy flavor but A LOT of people do)

Stick it in the bird’s booty after salting and seasoning! BOOTY.


Last Tidbid:  I highly recommend taking cold unsalted butter, slicing it to thin square pieces, dipping it in the dry rub, separating the skin and putting the seasoned butter in between the skin and meat.  This not only adds extra flavor but also helps tenderize the bird EVER MORE.  And who doesn’t like butter?!

Also, whatever you season your bird with on the skin, even if it is just salt and pepper, this will taste amazing.  Just don’t do anything weird that you wouldn’t normally put on a bird…like cinnamon or nutmeg or weird non-birdy ingredients; we don’t want your bird to taste like pumpkin pie. Gross.

Italian Sausage Bolognese Sauce

I’ve always loved Bolognese sauce.  I’m just one of the laziest creatures I know and this takes some work!  But if I can do it…SO CAN YOU!

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But today, I thought hmm…I’m going to make mine with Italian            Sausage.  Why? Because who the heck doesn’t like Italian Sausage?!  It’s tasty, fragrant, and downright delicious!

I will post a standard Bolognese recipe sometime in the future…but for now, you’re stuck with this, and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. 🙂

Here is a pix of main ingredients:

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First step.  Take your white wine, and add 1 cup of white wine into your beef and Italian sausage.  This sounds weird.  But trust me, it will help breakdown the mean so when you’re browning it, the meat will help separate into little ground beefies versus GIANT BEEF CHUNKS that you have to break apart.

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I used a fork and mashed the two meats until they looked like one big happy family.

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Chopping. The good news is…you don’t have to do a ton of chopping, just use your food processor (which saves my life in so many things and is the best friend you can have in the kitchen).

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CHOP ALL DEM VEGGIES UP.  SO. Start with cutting your MIREPOIX (dood I feel so fancy but this is basically celery, carrots, and onion).  The only thing, we are going to change up is the ratio of Mirepoix…we are doing equal parts of each one.   I would chop them up into 2 inch pieces to help your food processor out.

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I throw each one in individually.  Not sure why…I guess I’m crazy like that.

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Don’t forget to do your garlic too!

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Now that you’ve chopped all your veggies…let the COOKING COMMENCE!

Start with 2 tablespoons of olive oil.   Let it come up in temperature and throw your onions in.

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Then your garlic. (not pictured cause I’m a dumb dumb).  SALT AT EVERY LEVEL.  I cannot stress this enough.  I will say it again…. SALT AT EVERY LEVEL!  You want to make sure that every level of flavor you are building is well seasoned.  It doesn’t mean salt the crap out of it….but it means salt it enough so that you are bringing the flavors our.  I would say about ¼ –  ½ teaspoon at each level is good (depending on your personal salt preference).  This is something that is learned over time…happy medium between enough salt and not too much salt. I highly recommend tasting each level if it is safe (don’t risk tasting raw meat!)

As soon as your onions are sweating, throw in your carrots and celery.  Stir it around…. SALT AT EVERY LEVEL.

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When your veggies are done (I would give it about 5-7 minutes on medium heat)… take them out.

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Grab the meat/wine concoction and throw it in.  Brown your meat and SALT AT EVERY LEVEL!

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When your meat is nice and brown, throw in your veggies and mix well.

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If it starts to stick and make little brown bits down there, you’re doing a good job.  We want this.  But don’t overdo it and DON’T BURN it!! 🙂  Browning is flavor, burning is gross!

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Next, we are going to pour in your 1 cup of red wine…drink some for yourself…and scrape the little delicious brown bits off the bottom.  Keke.  Scrape de bottom.

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Now. THROW YOUR CRUSHED tomatoes … SALT AT EVERY LEVEL.

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Yum yum yum.  WE ARE GETTING THERE.

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Add your seasonings. Basil, red pepper, Sugar, Garlic, and Onion Powder (not all pictured).

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Taste your sauce. If it does not have enough salt (which if you salted correctly, it should), add more to taste.  Remember, Bolognese sauce will be a tad bit on the salty side when eaten on its own.  Why? Because you are cooking it with pasta! 🙂

This will need to cook down for about 30-45 minutes on low/medium.  WARNING: Just make sure you WATCH IT. and STIR as you go along.  Because Bolognese is a ragu, it is THICK and does not have a ton of liquid and will burn quickly.  Just please be careful when cooking it down.  I added 1 cup of water to let it cook down. We need the flavors to merry and be joyful.

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When your sauce is almost ready, start your pasta water.  Make sure you salt the water.

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I usually put my sauce in a sautee pan on medium to keep it warm, and my pasta in another.  DSC_0881

I cook according to the package and typically subtract 1-2 minutes.  So, if your package says 6-8 minutes.  I would do 6 minutes.

As soon as your pasta is finished at its 6 minute mark, throw the cooked pasta into the sautee pan and finish the pasta in the sauce.  Add a 2-4 tablespoons of pasta water in there to help the pasta cook some more.

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Integrate the pasta and sauce.  (if it’s dry, add a little more water.  A LITTLE. not a ton, then you will have watery gross Bolognese *barf*)

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After you are done, plate and ENJOY.  I usually add shaved Parmesan, but didn’t do so in the picture so you can see the finished product. 🙂


 

Italian Sausage Bolognese Sauce

A twist on a classic dish

Difficulty level: Intermediate (only because it’s a lot of steps and the salting on every level situation )

Serving: 6-10 depending on how much you use

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook time: 1.5 hours

Ingredients:

1 lb of beef

1 lb of spicy Italian sausage

2 stalks of celery

2 carrots

2 medium size onions

5 cloves of garlic

1 28 oz can of crushed tomatos (I highly recommend Hunts)

2 tsp of dried basil

2 tsp of crushed red pepper

1 tsp of garlic powder

1 tsp of onion powder

2 tablespoons of olive oil

½ teaspoon of sugar

1 cup of red wine

1 cup of white wine

1 cup of water


Directions:

  1. Mix together the beef and spicy Italian with 1 cup of white wine.
  2. Chop all veggies in the food processor into a small dice.
  3. Use 2 tablespoons of Olive oil, bring up to temperature, sweat onions, then garlic, salt to taste.
  4. Add the celery and carrots, cook for 5-7 minutes until soft, but not limpy! Salt to taste.
  5. Take veggies out and put aside.
  6. Brown the meat. Salt to taste.
  7. Add veggies back into the meat, cook and let flavors merry with each other a bit. Let this brown a bit on the bottom, but do not BURN! Salt to taste.
  8. Add 1 cup of red wine. Stir, and cook for another 3-4 minutes.
  9. Add entire can of crushed tomatoes. Salt to taste.
  10. Add remaining seasoning of sugar, basil, red pepper, garlic powder, onion powder.
  11. Salt to taste.
  12. Add one cup of water. Cook down this sauce for about 45 minutes. Watch the sauce! Do NOT let it burn!
  13. Cook pasta and Bolognese in separate pots. When pasta is done, throw into hot sauce and finish in the sauce.
  14. Enjoy!

Last Tidbid:  I always finish any pasta I made in the sauce.  It makes a night and day difference in letting the pasta soak up the sauces.  You can do this with any and all sauces and it works wonders!

Tuna Salad

Well hallo dere.

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Not sure if you can tell by now but I love things that are easy to make.  The easier and tastier food is, the rounder I get. Keke. Round.

This is a good “healthy” snack.  I put “healthy” in quotes because it really depend on how much may-O you put into this delicious fresh yummy concoction.  The more you put the creamier it gets!

I grew up eating tuna with mayo and celery and I’m not going to say it was horrible but it wasn’t freaking delicious either.  It was like…just OK.

Then…I met this girl named Cristina.  She changed my life.  She opened the doors to canned-tuna heaven and showed me that you CAN elevate canned tuna and make freaking delicious.  She made tuna with all the Mexican flavors I love…and then I decided…I have to make my own.

I came, I saw, I conquered that BEEZIE.

The good thing about this recipe is it is a base.  You can tweak it anyway you want based on your taste buds. I can’t say every time I make this it tastes the same, but I can say, that every time I make it, I love how delicious it is with some Pretzel Crisps or Salt and Pepper Kettle chips.  Yum.  Remember!  I said “healthy”. Feel free to judge me. 😉

OKIE. So here goes!

CHOP CHOP CHOP!  I know its super tempting to throw this all into the food processer…but don’t do it.  Fight the temptation.  You’ll need a bigger dice then the food processor will give you because you want a good nice crunch and texture. TRUST ME! IT’S WORTH IT

So. Here we go!

Main Ingredients:  (as usual…I forgot something…)

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Mayo and Garlic Salt not shown… -_-**

Start chopping the living lights out of these veggies….

For those who don’t know how to cut celery cause it’s all weird shaped:

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Turn on an angle and chop into strips

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DEN WAHLAH! NOW RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO CHOP INTO TINY CRUNCHY SQUARES OF FLAVOR!

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Such pretty colors!  Add the canned Tuna…

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And MIX the beH-gi-ta-bles all up!

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Look at all the colors! So pretty! And tell me that doesn’t smell amazing.

Ok. This is where I secretly like to lie to myself and tell myself I eat healthy and only add a bit of mayo.  But it always ends up the same.  I always start with ½ of a HEAPING cup of mayo…

Then I spread the love…and then I realize….there isn’t enough love in there.  So I end up adding a tablespoon at a time.

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And then I end up…with me have had added a total of 1 cup of Mayo…LOL. #healthyfail

If you fail like I do. Let’s fail proudly. And be proud and fat and happy.  YAH!

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Make sure you toss in at least ½ teaspoon of salt or more to taste.  THEN. WAIT for it….THROW IT IN THE fridge.  It needs to SIT in the fridge for at least 3 hours prior to consuming.  If you have patience for overnight, then that is better.  The flavors need time to merry and be happy!  Give it some TIME!

Then. Indulge with some Pretzel Crisps (I buy the Everything flavor) or Kettle chips. Whatever your hearts deepest desires are.


TUNA SALAD

Dancing Tuna in your mouf!

Difficulty level: EASY

Serving:  Total a little under 3 lbs (sounds a lot but it’s really not!)

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook time: none


Ingredients:

4 Cans of 5 oz Tuna in water

2 Tomatoes

4 stalks of celery

1 medium onion or a little over half of a large one

1 bunch of cilantro (or less to taste)

1 small Persian cucumber (not shown and optional – I only do it sometimes but don’t do too much because cucumbers can be overpowering!)

1 serrano pepper (optional)

1 cup of Mayo (start with ½ and add to taste)

½ Teaspoon of Garlic Salt


 

Directions:

Chop all veggies.  Put in mixing bowl.  Add tuna.

Add Mayo and Salt, mix.

Refrigerate for at least 3 hours to overnight.

Last Tidbid:  I actually tend to eat this with crackers over in a sandwich.  If you do want to eat it in a sandwich, make sure you get a nice strong bread that can hold up to the juices of this tuna.  Also, when you refrigerate the tuna, it will secret water from the veggies, just mix prior to eating.

Happy Eating!

Kai’s Ahi Tuna Poke!!

Ahi Tuna Poke.

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So delicious!

This is one of those things that make my heart sing.  *LALALA* I mean, how do you go wrong?! Sashimi grade fish chopped and marinated with the addition of onions and garlic and ginger and all the yummies?!  UGH I DIE.  I LOVE LOUD FLAVORS AND THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE.

But before I freak the eff out and break out into recipe sharing, I decided to share with you my most recent fishing adventure. 🙂

I LOVE FISHING and last month fishing had been pretty amazing with the hurricanes pushing all the fish up to OC!  If you ever want to get into fishing, the secret is being prepared…check fishing reports, get the right gear by being organized and doing your research, don’t MURDER your LIVE bait, and make friends with (or tip out ahead of time) the deckhands; they’ll hook you up! 🙂

preparing for fishing
**i did not wear short shorts on a boat full of men….

GONNA KILL ME SOME FISH.

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This is me and the boys before loading the boat!

We slept on the boat all night which I highly DO NOT RECOMMEND if you get seasick; if you do get seasick, Bonine up!  The following morning, we start catching fish BRITE N’ EARLY!

Kai and Fish

And lo and behold…Yep…I made this fish my b****.  WHOSE yOUR DADDY fishie?!?!

WOOHOO. Ok so now how do I make me some poke?!

Here’s what you’ll need for seasoning:

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Ponzu, Light Soy Sauce, Siracha, Sesame Oil!

Get your ingredients together and start with the VEGGIES…CHOP THAT ISH!

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Yellow onions, garlic, jalapenos, green onions, Sesame seeds, and Korean pepper flake (gochugaru)…I forgot the ginger…as usual I always miss something!  😦

CUT YO FISH!

In case you get some Tuna with skin on, I’m going to show you how to take it off.  It’s ridiculously easy. See that little edge part that lifted up?  Just take that and peel it.  Peel the skin off delicately but with a bit of anger since it’s separating you away from the delicious ruby cubes of awesomeness.

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While peeling, hold the meat of the fish down and pull the other way.  Kind of like waxing your legs in a slow painful way…

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Then start cutting them into ½ inch strips so you can dice them into ½ inch squares.

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WAHLAH!  Pink beautiful cubes of just pure deliciousness. YUM.

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Then throw it all together and create MAH-JEEK!

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And the SAUCING begins…*add all sauce here*

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MIX it. 😉

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MAH GAWWW THAT LOOKS SO GEWDD.  Sneak a taste test and add salt or soy if needed.  If you like it a bit more acidic, add more Ponzu, if you like a bit more spice, add more Siracha, etc etc..you know what i mean.  Make sure you let this refrigerate for at least 2 hours to let the flavors dance together and be merry!!

For serving, I highly recommend COOLED or LUKEWARM white Korean/Japanese rice. Trust me, its better eating with the raw fish!


 

KAI’S SPICY AHI POKE

A little taste of Hawaii at home! I promise you’ll love this recipe and it’s so easy!

Difficulty Level: Easy

Serving: Two lbs of Poke

Prep time: 30 Minutes

Cook time: none!


 

Ingredients:

2 lbs of Sashimi Grade tuna (be SURE it’s sashimi grade!)

1 Cup of Diced Yellow Onions (or 1 medium onion)

2 Green Onion Stalks, diced

½ Teaspoon of grated Ginger

1 Teaspoon of Sesame Seeds

1 Teaspoon of minced Garlic

1 Teaspoon of Korean Pepper Flakes (gochugaru); this can be substituted with red pepper flakes

1 whole chopped Jalapenos (I do WITH the seeds, feel free to de-seed if needed)

3 Tablespoons of Light Soysauce

2 ½ Tablespoons of Ponzu (Citrus Soysauce)

1 Tablespoon of Siracha

Salt to taste!

Prepare your onions, green onions, jalapenos, ginger, and garlic; set aside.  Cut your fish and place in a mixing bowl. Mix all above ingrediants.

Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before enjoying and eat within 48 hrs of marinade.

Guess what?! THIS IS PRETTY HEALTHY FOR YOU…except for the sodium part. 😉

Last Tidbid: If you ever catch your own fish or someone gives you wild caught TUNA…just know, it does NOT keep well.  It is best eaten­ within a couple days or it will go mushy and disgusting or start to rot. ew.

 

Throw Together Homemade Taco Seasoning

My first post.

Man it’s been a long time coming.  I definitely have learned a lot about myself in the past couple years.

Random things I’ve learned:

  1. I am nowhere near fashionable and the older I get the less cool I am and the more sarcastic I get.
  2. I am quite the domesticated animal; I like to say I’m a tiger. Cause I’m fierce and lazy as all hell (possible? I think so).  lazy tiger
  3. I am horrible at laundry…partially because I HATE IT and it is my ultimate nemesis and I’m always shrinking my clothes and my boyfriend’s clothes. 😦
  4. I love to eat. And I love fat. And MSG. And all the things bad for you. Judge me. (O.o)
  5. I love to workout. I kinda have to love working out or I stop becoming a tiger and become a panda…which I guess I can’t be mad about since pandas are so friggin’ cute.

panda picture

Where am I going with this?  

I know some of you are aware that I attempted to start a ‘teach myself how to be fashionable blog’…THAT was an ULTIMATE fail.  Why? Because after I started that and explored more into fashion, I realized I HATE fashion and I am SO BAD AT it.  So trying to teach myself and write about it makes no sense what so ever.

So I then decided OK…I want to start a blog. What could/should I write about?!

I am not giving myself limitations. I am going to write about whatever my little heart desires.  I love food. I love working out. I love eating. I love being lazy. I love things that make my life easier. I love my loud mouth opinions. I love learning new things.  And I’m ready to share those things with you.

SO! First things first…Totally random but ultimately necessary for those lazy days after work where you don’t want to do anything but be fat and eat tacos.

Here are the items you will need (minus cayenne cause i forgot…) MY BAD:

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Put it all together in a bowl

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OoOh so pretty….

Then SHAKE THAT BOOTY and mix it all up! And WALAH! You have TACO MAGIC.

Here it is an action shot of me throwing it into some ground beef. Yummes.

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Then when you’re hungry, just make yourself a yummo taco 🙂

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2 Tablespoons of this MAGIC POWDER equates 1 ounce of deliciousness.  1 ounce is usually what is given in a Taco Seasoning packet and is good for one lb of ground beef, turkey, chicken, or whatever your heart desires.


THROW TOGETHER TACO SEASONING

Everyone needs taco seasoning in their life.  And guess what, you don’t have to use the store bought stuffs anymore…why?! Because you probably have all you need in your spice closet right now.  I dare you to look…go ahead.  And guess what…as much as I am up for preservatives and msg and all the bad-good stuff that I love…at least with this, you know what you’re putting into your food for those more health conscience peeps out there…

Difficulty Level: Easy

Servings: 2 packets worth (2 oz or 4 tablespoons)

Prep Time: 5 minutes


Ingredients:

3 Tablespoon Chili Powder

1 Teaspoon of Garlic Powder

1 Teaspoon of Onion Powder

1 ½ Teaspoon of Red Pepper Flakes

½  Heaping Teaspoon of Oregano

1 Teaspoon of Paprika

3 Teaspoon of Cumin

2 Teaspoon of Garlic Salt (Sea or Kosher ok as substitute)

2 Teaspoon of Black Pepper

½  Teaspoon of Nutmeg (Optional)

1 Teaspoon of Cayenne (Optional for more spice, not pictured cause I’m a dumb dumb)

**For those who have little children and can’t eat spice, take out the chili powder, pepper flakes, paprika, and cayenne.  It won’t be the same but I promise it’s still delicious!

Last tidbid: This recipe is so easy! Just throw everything together and wahlah!  Life is delicious and YOU. WILL. NEVER. HAVE. TO. BUY. A. TACO. PACKET. AGAIN.  My best recommendation is to make this in bulk and keep it because you never know when you’ll need it.