Tag Archives: food

Tuna Salad

Well hallo dere.

DSC_0938 (2)

Not sure if you can tell by now but I love things that are easy to make.  The easier and tastier food is, the rounder I get. Keke. Round.

This is a good “healthy” snack.  I put “healthy” in quotes because it really depend on how much may-O you put into this delicious fresh yummy concoction.  The more you put the creamier it gets!

I grew up eating tuna with mayo and celery and I’m not going to say it was horrible but it wasn’t freaking delicious either.  It was like…just OK.

Then…I met this girl named Cristina.  She changed my life.  She opened the doors to canned-tuna heaven and showed me that you CAN elevate canned tuna and make freaking delicious.  She made tuna with all the Mexican flavors I love…and then I decided…I have to make my own.

I came, I saw, I conquered that BEEZIE.

The good thing about this recipe is it is a base.  You can tweak it anyway you want based on your taste buds. I can’t say every time I make this it tastes the same, but I can say, that every time I make it, I love how delicious it is with some Pretzel Crisps or Salt and Pepper Kettle chips.  Yum.  Remember!  I said “healthy”. Feel free to judge me. 😉

OKIE. So here goes!

CHOP CHOP CHOP!  I know its super tempting to throw this all into the food processer…but don’t do it.  Fight the temptation.  You’ll need a bigger dice then the food processor will give you because you want a good nice crunch and texture. TRUST ME! IT’S WORTH IT

So. Here we go!

Main Ingredients:  (as usual…I forgot something…)

DSC_0936
Mayo and Garlic Salt not shown… -_-**

Start chopping the living lights out of these veggies….

For those who don’t know how to cut celery cause it’s all weird shaped:

DSC_0789

Turn on an angle and chop into strips

DSC_0790

DEN WAHLAH! NOW RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO CHOP INTO TINY CRUNCHY SQUARES OF FLAVOR!

DSC_0938

Such pretty colors!  Add the canned Tuna…

DSC_0942

And MIX the beH-gi-ta-bles all up!

DSC_0943

Look at all the colors! So pretty! And tell me that doesn’t smell amazing.

Ok. This is where I secretly like to lie to myself and tell myself I eat healthy and only add a bit of mayo.  But it always ends up the same.  I always start with ½ of a HEAPING cup of mayo…

Then I spread the love…and then I realize….there isn’t enough love in there.  So I end up adding a tablespoon at a time.

DSC_0945

And then I end up…with me have had added a total of 1 cup of Mayo…LOL. #healthyfail

If you fail like I do. Let’s fail proudly. And be proud and fat and happy.  YAH!

DSC_0949

Make sure you toss in at least ½ teaspoon of salt or more to taste.  THEN. WAIT for it….THROW IT IN THE fridge.  It needs to SIT in the fridge for at least 3 hours prior to consuming.  If you have patience for overnight, then that is better.  The flavors need time to merry and be happy!  Give it some TIME!

Then. Indulge with some Pretzel Crisps (I buy the Everything flavor) or Kettle chips. Whatever your hearts deepest desires are.


TUNA SALAD

Dancing Tuna in your mouf!

Difficulty level: EASY

Serving:  Total a little under 3 lbs (sounds a lot but it’s really not!)

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook time: none


Ingredients:

4 Cans of 5 oz Tuna in water

2 Tomatoes

4 stalks of celery

1 medium onion or a little over half of a large one

1 bunch of cilantro (or less to taste)

1 small Persian cucumber (not shown and optional – I only do it sometimes but don’t do too much because cucumbers can be overpowering!)

1 serrano pepper (optional)

1 cup of Mayo (start with ½ and add to taste)

½ Teaspoon of Garlic Salt


 

Directions:

Chop all veggies.  Put in mixing bowl.  Add tuna.

Add Mayo and Salt, mix.

Refrigerate for at least 3 hours to overnight.

Last Tidbid:  I actually tend to eat this with crackers over in a sandwich.  If you do want to eat it in a sandwich, make sure you get a nice strong bread that can hold up to the juices of this tuna.  Also, when you refrigerate the tuna, it will secret water from the veggies, just mix prior to eating.

Happy Eating!

White Wine Clam Pasta

White Wine Clam Sauce.

YUMMMMOOOOO. SO freaking easy and SO ridiculously fast!!

White Wine Clam Pasta

I love clams. And mushrooms. And onions. And Wine. And cheese.

Throw all that ish together and BAM Mah-JEEK is created.

DSC_0815
The crew.

I try not to eat pasta.  I constantly remind myself how it’ll make my money maker bigger.  It’s not worth it I tell myself.

Carbs

This is definitely worth it. Sorry Ryan Gosling.

For this recipe, I chose to use FRESH Manila clams.  FRESH Manila clams are good because they aren’t too large and they aren’t too gut-sy.  I’m not a huge fan of gut-sy shell fish (kinda like Littleneck clams which I still love but they have to be GOOD Littleneck clams)  What is my definition of Gut-sy??  When you bite the clam and the sack of guts which are sometimes questionable tasting…squishes into your mouth like a yucky muddy disgusting tasting poopoo.  NOBODY LIKES THAT.  So I went with FRESH Manila Clams. 🙂

White Wine.  I am ridiculously cheap.  I used to be one of those believers that you use whatever the hell kinda wine you want.  It doesn’t matter if it’s box wine. Or two dollar wine.  Or Cupcake wine (lol!) jk. Kinda.  But I was wrong!  Wrong wrong wrong!  You definitely want to use a wine that you are willing to drink and won’t give you a hangover that feels like a truck ran your big booty butt 10x over.  Don’t go complete opposite either and pick something you will cherish and be all wine snobby about and definitely just cook with something that is around a $15.00 wine and an easy drinker. I’m using Justin, Sauginon Blanc (dry white).

So! Here we go!  Let’s start with the baguette and get it out of the way.

Melt some butter (up to you how much you’d like to use, I used 2 tablespoon of salted butter); cook on low.

DSC_0851

Throw the baguette on there

DSC_0860

Flip. Toast. Then set aside.  Do everything you can to try not to eat it before it’s time…

On to the good stuff!

I forgot to add that we need butter and Olive Oil for this recipe. Lol! so here is your picture for viewing purposes.

DSC_0823
I’m not sure why this picture is so large…

Go ninja on your onions, garlic, and mushrooms…

Here is the picture of my mushroom karate CHOP!

DSC_0821

Then use both buttuh AND olive oil.  Trust me.  You need both.  And trust me.  You NEED the entire half stick.  Feel free to throw in a bit more for more richness. *purr*

Also add your garlic…it’s a party up in here!!

DSC_0825

I’m not going to lie. I added only half of a half stick. It was a mistake. I ended up adding the other much needed half of the half that I didn’t add in the first place. Don’t make the same wannabeskinnygirl mistake I made.

Throw dem onions in!

DSC_0826

Sweat dem on medium/low heat.  Sweat dem REAL gOOD.

Add your sliced mushrooms.

DSC_0830

Cook them until their semi-soft.  Salt that sucker to taste.

While your mushrooms are cooking, make sure you start your pasta water.  You want to salt the crap out of your water.  Supposedly until it taste like the sea.  I just add until I feel good about myself…like 2 teaspoons.

DSC_0831

I like my pasta al dente.  Like kinda a bit still chewy.

Please make sure you time this right!  Read the packet on your pasta box…if it’s says 7 minutes, cook your pasta 2 minutes less.  TRUST me. Use a timer. We are going to finish the pasta IN the sauce. 😉  But don’t start it yet…wait until you throw your clams in.

So…back to the sauce.

TURN THE HEAT UP TO HIGH!  THROW THE BABIES IN!

DSC_0839

Then quickly add the BOOZE.

DSC_0845

COVER IT to STEAM the YUMMY CLAMS.DSC_0847

Don’t you touch that cover for at least 2 minutes!  While you’re waiting…open all three of your canned clams, THROW YOUR PASTA INTO your boiling water and start your timer!

DSC_0836

Put in your canned clams

DSC_0849

COVER IT AGAIN Until it’s boiling!  THEN…SALT TO TASTE.

The babies should start opening….DROOL.

By the time it starts boiling again, your pasta should be at the 5 minute mark!

This is where amazing happens.

Add the pasta…

DSC_0852

TIME IT AT 2 MINUTES. Finish the pasta in the juices. It’s ok if you get a little pasta water into the sauce; this will help thicken the sauce because of the extra starches the pasta and pasta water adds.

Make sure you add enough SALT.  I added about a total of 3 – 4 teaspoons of salt. But I also love salt so I am going to say add salt to taste.  My clam pasta is typically a bit salter because I just think that’s how clam pasta is supposed to taste.   Plus that salty sauce/soupiness is so good with that crusty bread!

After you are satisfied with your flavor; start plating and add parmesan AND that toasted baguette! (no baguette pictured below)

DSC_0864

YUMMO. This is making me hungry.

This serves 4-6…depending on how much pastas your guests eat.  The above picture is plated MUCH larger than I usually would because I was feeding two big boys with VERY healthy appetites.

After, there is usually extra clams, clam sauce, onions and mushrooms.  What are you going to do with that?  EAT IT WITH YO BREAD FOO! 😉


WHITE WINE CLAM PASTA

Nom NOM NOM! Easy Italian at home!

Difficulty Level: Easy

Serving: 4-6 servings

Prep time: 15 Minutes

Cook time: 15 Minutes


Ingredients:

4-6 servings of pasta (depending on how much you eat); I recommend Spaghetti

2 cups of diced onions

4 cups of sliced mushrooms

3 6.5 oz cans of minced clams in clam juice (2 cans with juice, 1 can drained)

4 tablespoons (half a stick) of butter for pasta sauce

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 ½ tablespoon of minced garlic

1 lb of Fresh and Cleaned Manila Clams

1 ½ cup of White Wine

Shaved Parmesan cheese

1 baguette

2 tablespoons of salted butter for toasted baguette

Instructions:

  1. Use 2 tablespoons of salted butter. Melt. Toast baguette. Put aside.
  2. In a large pot, melt butter and olive oil with Garlic. Add onions. Sweat. Throw in mushrooms until semi-soft. Salt to taste!
  3. Start and salt pasta water.
  4. Go back to your clam sauce, throw in cleaned clams. Add White wine. Cover to steam for at least 2 minutes.
  5. Add pasta into boiling water. Set timer for 2 minutes less then instructed time.
  6. Add canned clams into clam sauce. Cover until boil.
  7. Pasta should be completed; add pasta to clam sauce to finish. Set timer for remainder 2 minutes
  8. Plate and add parmesan and toasted baguette.
  9. Eat. Do a little dance. Get that money maker bigger.

LAST TIDBID: Makes sure you buy FRESH ingredients! This will make or break your pasta, if you buy stinky clams, your pasta will be stinky!  If you do NOT want to buy fresh clams, this can be made without them and just the canned clams and I promise you, it will be just as good.

This recipe is also very easily cut in half; if you do cut it in half, use 2 cans of clams with juice versus 1.5 cause what are u going to do with the other half?  Save it?  NO. Just throw that ish in.

ENJOY! 🙂